A Share of German: Sex Education On Words

Ah, German! The sound of German or a German accent gives some people a hard-on, others a hard time to understand the German's thick accent and for others it's hard to learn. Yet, sometimes German can be very fun to think about and beyond the hard-sounding exterior of the German language, the small things are what makes German so unique. Today, this small thing is actually about...different-sized things. You'll see what I mean by the end of this read.

This fox boy surely won't like what he will read about his signature characteristic (or characteristics?)

A Phallacy? Actually, kinda.

First, a little bit about German and European languages in general. There are language families all around the world the languages belong to (only very, very few have no "relatives", see Basque). The main part in Central/Western Europe are Indo-Germanic and Romance languages. Indo-Germanic languages are English, German, Dutch etc., Romance languages are French, Spanish, Italian etc.
Despite that, it can happen that German and English use words with Latin origin (heck, English doesn't even change them at times). But this one word with Latin origin is quite particular: the penis. In Germany at least?

Why? Simply said, the origin survived a long time yet the modern usage is still intact. As you may have guessed, "penis" was actually the word for a tail, like an animal's tail. So far so good. But later on, the meaning changed and it became what we know now. Again, so far so good.

German has a particular characteristic however: the original meaning isn't lost. If you look up "Schwanz" in an dictionary, you will see "tail" as English translation, but also the possible chance of reading "penis" as translation (so don't wonder if somebody wants to see your "tail", guys). And it's right, even today, I'd say from experience that it's the most used slang word for "penis" today in Germany, from youth funnywise up till the elderly. And that despite the fact that German isn't a Romance language...and that Romance and other languages don't have the same slang word. How did it survive? I don't really know, I can only guess, the internet wasn't helpful either.

But that's not the only thing which arises from the average word usage.

Even The Women Aren't Safe

Now to the female parts! But not a slang word actually. Indeed, it's used anatomically. It's about the "vulva". What many people misunderstand is what a "vagina" is and what a "vulva" is. In German, it's very confusing, in English not so much. The origin of the word explains why. "Vagina" actually means "sheath", also from Latin. In German, you'd translate "sheath" to "Scheide". And yeah, we use this translation to actually describe it, it's known in German-speaking hospitals but also outside medical areas to common German people. But compared to our male counterpart, we really barely use these words.

A reason may be because it's not the nicest-sounding word. On the other hand, because we get to know it very early. Sometimes in elementary school, sometimes in middle school, you'll encounter that word in sex education and/or Biology class. And considering it's a word you used to know as a kid, it is kind of uncool to use. Like: "Hehe hehe, he said 'vagina'!"

And "sheath" is as far as I can tell also not a very common slang (not really slang actually when it's officially used, huh?) or synonym for "vagina" anywhere except in German. We're quite strange when it comes to sexuality. And it doesn't even end here.

In The Woods...With Wood

"Nuts"...in English, it's widely used, may somebody be nuts/nutty or you just love to eat cashew nuts. Also in German. Actually, it only has two meanings: that of a nut and testicles.
And not only the testicles use words from Mother Nature. Also the glans. "Glans" is Latin for "acorn". And again - I somehow smell a way too literal terrible translator from ancient times - it's literally translated to mean what it meant, "die Eichel", "the acorn". Because that's the original meaning of that word. And like in the case of vagina, "Eichel" is a word also used in medical areas but also in common German. The usage is...meh. Better than the sheath case but it's hard to come up with a slang word for such a small thing (I don't even know one in English). So when it's meant, this word will be used due to the vacancy of words.

And that was a share of German for today, and what a start already! German is despite these very quirky things you got to read now very interesting and always worth a shot (pun not really intended but considering the topic, funny enough to let it stay). Also, German isn't that hard and it's rather this language where you speak more but become more precise with the meanings. Also, pronounciation is much easier than in English.

Other than that, see you next time, folks!

A few words' origins: https://www.dartmouth.edu/~humananatomy/resources/etymology/Pelvis.htm